Estúpida, Imbécil, Inútil...

Lo estoy sintiendo. Duele como una bala al pecho, o una bomba al corazón (no sé cual de ellos es más doloroso). Es como si a mi mundo perfecto se le empezaran a ver ranuras, grietas... ¿Cómo es posible que eso pase? Es perfecto, la palabra lo dice. Tendrá sus problemas, pero es perfecto, es un mundo feliz. Mi mundo feliz, con sus stresses y sus calmas, sus buenos y sus malos humores. Pero, ¿cómo es posible...?, o mejor dicho, ¿es posible que yo misma me haya arrebatado lo único que le daba felicidad a mi vida? A simple vista parecería que me gusta estar triste o deprimida, pasarla mal; pero no es así, amo sonreír con naturalidad, y muy pocas cosas logran eso en mí. Eso era una de ellas, y yo misma me lo saqué, como si fuese un saco con sus bolsillos llenos de arena, o una mochila con plomo adentro. ¿Cómo puedo ser tan estúpida, tan imbécil y tan inútil?

By C.

Ellos, lo más lindo.

La ficha me cayó hace mucho, pero yo simplemente la ignoré. Todo me decía que valorara lo que tenía, porque lo bueno no dura para siempre. Recién ahora lo entendí. Ahora que se terminó todo. Ahora que por más que queramos las cosas van a cambiar. Odio los cambios. Están siempre en los momentos más inoportunos, para refregarte una y mil veces que no valoraste lo que tuviste mientras lo tuviste, que fuiste un idiota por no darte cuenta de lo que eso valía.
Sí, estoy más que melancólica. Esto significó el final de mucho, un mucho que me hizo quien soy hoy, quien fui, y quien seré. Ellos son mi mucho, mis amigos. Las personas más increíbles y fascinantes del mundo, cada uno a su manera. Son las personas más especiales para mí, son quienes me mantuvieron en pie y me obligaron a seguir cuando yo quise caer. Son quienes me salvaron la vida en muchos sentidos. Son la razón de todo. La pregunta y la respuesta a todo. Son la solución; son mi solución, y mi razón de vivir.
Son a quienes amo con locura y pasión, son lo más lindo.

By C.

The time of our lives

Seems like were holding on forever. I gotta let it go. Times up you pushed me to surrender (tonight). Who knows whats happens now whatever? Where ever the wind blows? And I'm there as long as were together alright... Lets have the time of our lives! Like theres noone else around just throw your hands up high even when they try to take us down. Lets have the time of our lives till the lights burn out. Lets laugh until we cry, life is only what you make it now. Lets have the time of our lives! Dreamers don't care if its right. I think i'm really into you. Restless lets leave it all behind and tonight crazy when you cross my mind oh the trouble we could get into. So what lets just give this a try alright. Lets have the time of our lives! Like theres noone else around, just throw your hands up high even when they try to take us down. We'll have the time of our lives till the lights burn out. Lets laugh until we cry, life is only what you make it now. Lets have the time of our lives! Lookin back what are we waitin for? Take the chance, now's all we got for sure! Lets have the time of our lives! Like theres noone else around just throw your hands up high even when they try to take us down. We'll have the time of our lives till the lights burn out. Lets laugh until we cry. Life is only what you make it now. Lets have the time of our lives!

Infinity

Here's my key: Philosophy. A freak like me just needs infinity. Relax. Take your time. And take your time to trust in me, and you will find infinity. The time goes by so naturally. Why you'll recive infinity.

Well, it's nice to meet you sir.
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out.

what is it?

is it anguish? is it sadness? what is it? i'm tired of not being able to know who I am, what do I want and what don't I want. I know very well what I want, but... do I want what I want? Is it extremely possible that I don't want what I want. Even though I want it with my whole body and soul. I don't want to want what I want, because wanting what I want would be accepting that I'm different in some way. I'm tired of feeling different than everyone else, and I don't want to have anything else in my list. One more weight; because, even though is a beautiful weight, it's a weight. The fact of having to tell it to the people that deserves to know it. The fact of not being able to avoid the situation saturates me. The ones who know me know that I'm capable of doing the worst things to have my life in my own hands, even hurting the ones who I love. I'm seriously possessive with my life, I know it. I have to have my life in my own hands and be able to make with it whatever I want. I hate now knowing what to do to get it. I'm someone who's extremely complicated and complex. I'm strategic, and rancorous, what takes us to the next part of me, I'm really vindictive; I'm extremely nice until they make me suffer. I'm very self-confident with some things, but insecure with others. I appear to be something I'm not. I'm used to perform to people, so they cannot tell who I really am. I'm someone who's really hard to know, and who is only known by the people who I choose open to. I'm transparent, but i'm also opaque. I'm distant, even though I like to be close to people. I'm complicated and I hate the fact that people cannot understand my status. It's okay, it's not easy. But, what the hell can I do? I know most people went through this situation, and that it's hard to accept something like this, and even more if you don't really know what's there to accept. I know what happens to me, I know my feelings and what I want. But I don't like not really knowing what's happening to me, or what do I want. I want to be 'normal', I want to be an usual woman. I want to have my head in my place, and to understand myself. I'm sick of not being able to do that. I feel like I want to keep my feelings from myself, until they leave me.

By C.

Bring me to life

How can you see into my eyes like open doors? Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb. Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold until you find it there and lead it back home. Wake me up (wake me up inside), I can't wake up (wake me up inside), save me (call my name and save me from the dark). Wake me up (bid my blood to run), I can't wake up (before I come undone), save me (save me from the nothing I've become). Now that I know what I'm without, you can't just leave me. Breathe into me and make me real, bring me to life. Wake me up (wake me up inside), I can't wake up (wake me up inside), save me (call my name and save me from the dark). Wake me up (bid my blood to run), I can't wake up (before I come undone), save me (save me from the nothing I've become). I've been living a lie. There's nothing inside. Bring me to life. Frozen inside without your touch, without your love, darling. Only you are the life among the dead. All this time, I can't believe I couldn't see. Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me. I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems, got to open my eyes to everything. Without thought, without voice, without a soul. Don't let me die here, there must be something more. Bring me to life. Wake me up (wake me up inside), I can't wake up (wake me up inside), save me (call my name and save me from the dark). Wake me up (bid my blood to run), I can't wake up (before I come undone), save me (save me from the nothing I've become). I've been living a lie. There's nothing inside. Bring me to life.