Surprisingly surprising.

"Well its not so bad, you're only the best I've ever had. You don't want me back. You're just the best I've ever had. So you stole my world, now I'm just a phoney remembering the girl, leaves me down and lonely. Send it in a letter, make yourself feel better."

Lots of things had surprised me lately. I'm basically surprised about how weak I am, when it comes to drugs, party, sex, uncontrollability... I'm surprised about who I've become, sometimes in a good way, sometimes in a not so good one. But I'm not who I used to be anymore, I'm someone who stands for herself, and her friends... But I also hide my feelings on my own world, and I hide from them there too. I hide on drugs, party, sex... I just hide. I don't really like that, I would love to go and tell everyone how I feel, turn my back on the people I don't want in my life, and open my heart and mind to the ones I want in my life.
I'm surprised about me. I'm surprised about how much I can love someone, I'm surprised about the fact that she will never see me the way I see her, I'm surprised about how weak I am when it comes to controlling it, to fake like nothing happens. And I can't tell her anything, 'cause if I do, I would ruin everything we ever had.

By C.