Come

Hi, it's me.
I miss you.
Where are you now?
I miss you.
Feels like months since the last time we spoke.
It's been less than two days since.
I miss you.
Can you come and hug me?
Can you come and kiss me?
I miss you.

Just it

Cannot sleep. Day's almost over. Haven't slept in three days. I'm waiting. The world seems to be about to fall, break into a million pieces. Just a couple hours and everything's gonna be ok. He'll save us. He'll shine. He's gonna have a shield that will protect us. At least that's what I'd like to think. It's over. Six or seven years have passed. I'm growing up. Things are ending. 'Cause everything, everything ends. Just because it does. Nothing lasts forever. It's a shame. It would be awesome if we could live a hundred or thousand years. But we cant. That's just the way it is. Still... I love her. She's my everything. I would give everything up for her. She keeps me alive. She keeps my world spinning. She gives me peace. I can't describe it. I just... love her.

Let it snow

I'm feeling the need.
Is it hot in here? Or is just me?
I'm starting to sweat.
Where have you gone?
I'm panicking.
I'm telling myself to breathe.
Is getting harder and harder.
Is so hot in here!
Where has the snow gone?
Pressure behind my eyes.
It's starting to hurt.
They're dry.
I'm blinking, but they don't feel ok.
Please! someone bring the snow back.
I'm feeling the need.
Is it hot in here? Or is just me?
I'm starting to sweat.

Listen

We are walking on the same street.
Opposite ways.
Sun is up, it's summer.
I've always hated summer.
I never really liked the heat.
I guess this is goodbye.

Got nothing to say,
nothing, except

I don't know how we got here.
I can't understand I'm losing you.
All I know is yesterday I was afraid of free falls,
And now I only wanna jump of a clip.

We were lying on my bed.
Glass of wine on your hand and mine.
Playing around, laughing so damn hard.
Now you're walking away.
Now we're walking away.

Got nothing to say,
nothing, except

I don't know how we got here.
I can't understand I'm losing you.
All I know is yesterday I was afraid of free falls,
And now I only wanna jump of a clip.

The world won't stop spinning.
It only did when you look at me.
It was amazing.
I'm vanishing.
Can you hear me?

Got nothing to say,
nothing, except

I don't know how we got here.
I can't understand I'm losing you.
All I know is yesterday I was afraid of free falls,
And now I only wanna jump of a clip.

7 años.

Siete años.
Año uno:
No nos hhablamos.
Sé de tu existencia.
Estúpida yo, ¿cómo pude perderme algo tan mágico?
Año dos:
Te noto.
Llamás mi atención, mucho.
Intento convencerme de que es porque sí.
No puede estar pasando,
Pero sos tan hermosa, tan perfecta... tan humana.
No puedo más.
Año tres:
Estoy hasta las manos. Lo sé.
Lo admito,
Estás en todo lo que pienso.
Con todo puedo relacionarte.
Año cuatro:
Este es el último año en que paso todos los días con vos.
Me enamoraste.                  
Me enamoré.
Te convertiste en mi mejor amiga.
Tengo que mantenerme callada.
Puedo perderte.
Año cinco:
Por un error desperdicié días enteros que podía haber pasado con vos.
Aún así, nuesta amistad se afianzó.
Conocí una chica.
Ahora sabés que me gustan las mujeres.
Intento pasar todo el amor que te tengo, a ella.
En parte logro algo,
Me engancho.
Le digo "te amo".
Te hablo a vos.
Todo termina.
Quedo debastada.
¿Cómo ocultar lo mucho que te amo ahora?
Año seis:
Todo sigue igual.
Lo sabés.
Te amo.
Te amo como nunca se me ocurrió posible.
Frase trillada, lo sé.
Pero así es.
Cambio mi mundo entero por vos.
Si estás bien, mi mundo puede caerse.
Todo va a estar bien si vos lo estás.
Todo va a estar bien si aún puedo llamarte.
Si aún puedo verte.
Si aún existís...
Año siete:
Muchas cosas cambiaron.
Arriesgo.
¿Cómo puedo arriersgar tanto?
¿Cómo soy tan estúpida?
Descubro la respuesta.
Te amo.
No puedo hacer nada al respecto.
TE AMO.

You

Veins... what have you done to my veins? Can I say "blood"? Is it too obvious that I'm lying? You are, you are my veins. My love for you. My desire to hug you, to kiss you every single second of every hour. I'm sorry. I know this is not what you expect. I know this is nothing like what you feel for me, but I can't help it. You're my everything. You're what I breathe, you're my reason. You're my person. Everything I do, I do it thinking about you. Everything I do, I do it for you. Sorry, I just love you. That's what keeps me sane. You are what keeps me sane and alive.

Only you.

Oh boy, have you seen my head? I've lost my mind so I forget her. Oh boy, have you seen my heart? It's been so lound, I'm falling apart. Only you can bring me back to life. Only you can pull me into right. Tell me why I can breathe again. Oh boy, have you seen my hands? I can't hold on, I don't understand why. Dear boy, have you seen my soul? Is something of ground. I'm out of control. Only you can bring me back to life. Only you can pull me into right. Tell me why I can breathe again. Say you love me too. Only you can bring me back to life. Only you can pull me into right. Tell me why I can breathe again. I will raise.

TRY - PINK

No preguntar por qué

No me hace querer llorar.

Simplemente a veces es mejor no preguntar por qué.

Puede quemar, puede arder.

Te vas a ampollar.

Respirá. 

Todo va a pasar.

Tiene que pasar.

Pateá, corré, gritá.

Vas a estar bien. 

No puedo huir de esta realidad.

Puedo esconderme, puedo dar vuelta la cara.

Ella sabe cómo hacerlo.

No se va a desvanecer.

No me mientas, necesito esa verdad.

No estoy segura.

¿Quiero o necesito?

¿Es obvio o lo imagino?

Simplemente a veces es mejor no preguntar por qué.

Silencio. 

Aún así, no me hace querer llorar.

Hello.

Here we are now.
Everything has changed.
I'd bought you a teddy horse.
You used to love it.
We were kids.
I found it in the trash can.
Hello, who are you?
Hello, who am I?
From frog to princess.
Hello, where did you leave the memories?
Oh yes, in your shoes and tiny dogs.
But, hello! That's not a trophy!
You've lost your air.
You can't breathe.
I can't breathe either.
Hello, remember me?
Hello. I'm not here to pick your leftovers.
You want control.
Hello, I'm the one thing you can't control.
I'm everything you can't control.
Hello, who are you?
Hello, who am I?
Hello, where did you leave the memories?
Hello, remember me?
Hello, I'm everything you cant control.

By C.

in the dark.

Kiss your lips. Smell your skin. Touch your belly. Bite your neck. I start to slide down my hand, lower and lower, till I get there. I Watch you close your eyes, hear your breathing going faster... and faster. I feel your muscles tensing. Kissing your lips. Grabbing your hair. Hearing your breathing slowing down. Feeling your body relaxing. Seeing your naked back (I love it, by the way). Watching you sleep. Smelling your hair. Hearing your breathing. Feeling your touch. Touching your hair. Kissing your lips.

By C.

Miss dependent.

Calle Gurruchaga. Pleno Palermo Soho. Te molesta no saber para qué lado mirar. Son las cosas que pasan cuando perdés el control. Necesitás comprar, necesitás mirar. Te empieza a abrumar. No podés parar. Te consume. Estás empezando a sospechar. Las puertas se vuelven túneles; túneles que te guían hacia el pozo, el pozo del infierno que es en realidad tu cielo, por ahora... tapados, zapatos, libros, discos. Cerrás los ojos, no podés mirar. El mundo no va a dejar de girar. El cielo va a estallar y convertirse en polvo de ceniza que te va a cegar.

By C.

She.

I've been asked yo write down how I feel when I'm alone. Some may understand "alone" as alone in their bedrooms, or walking down the street. My definition of "alone" is completely different. When I'm alone I cannot breathe, I cannot sleep, I can't even think well. When I'm alone my whole world crushes down, my heart breaks and my bones ache. When I'm alone my ears don't listen, my heart doesn't beat and my voice doesn't sound the same. When I'm alone music helps me, but it's not enough, it's never enough... nothing is ever enough. When I'm alone I don't feel like getting up, eating, showering or even breathing. When  I'm alone I don't breathe. But, I'm still alive, aren't I? Because I'm  never alone. I used to be. Sometimes I think I could go back to it. But now I can't. I'm never alone. She's always in my mind. She's pressing my heart to beat, my lungs to breathe and my blood to run. Every time. Every hour. Every second. Everyday.

By C.

Through the rainy glass I see stories.
Like the one of you and I falling apart.
I'm so high I can hear the universe.
But my mind comes back to scream "I love you".

By C.

Never let me go.

Looking out from underneath, fractured moonlight on the sea. Reflections still look the same to me, as before I went under. And it's peaceful in the deep cathedral, where you cannot breathe, no need to pray, no need to speak; now I am under. And it's breaking over me, A thousand miles onto the sea bed, found the place to rest my head. Never let me go, never let me go. Never let me go, never let me go. And the arms of the ocean are carrying me, and all this devotion was rushing out of me. And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner like me. The arms of the ocean deliver me. Though the pressure's hard to take, it's the only way I can escape. It seems a heavy choice to make, but now I am under. And it's breaking over me, A thousand miles onto the sea bed, found the place to rest my head. Never let me go, never let me go. Never let me go, never let me go. And the arms of the ocean are carrying me, and all this devotion was rushing out of me. And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner like me. The arms of the ocean deliver me. And it's over, and I'm going under, but I'm not giving up! I'm just giving in. Oh, slipping underneath. Oh, so cold, but so sweet. In the arms of the ocean, so sweet and so cold. And all this devotion I never knew at all. And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner released. And the arms of the ocean deliver me. Never let me go, never let me go. Never let me go, never let me go. Deliver me. Never let me go, never let me go. Never let me go, never let me go. Deliver me. Never let me go, never let me go. Never let me go, never let me go. Never let me go, never let me go. Never let me go, never let me go. And it's over, and I'm goin' under, but I'm not givin' up! I'm just givin' in. Oh, slipping underneath. Oh, so cold, but so sweet.

19

I don't know why you are doing this. I don't know why you care at all. I don't deserve it. You are perfect to everyone's eyes. I don't deserve it. I'm just 19 years old. And everything sucks when you're 19 years old. I wanna scream. You can't be real. You can't do what you do. Do you want to kill me? Why are you there for me at all? You shouldn't. It's not good for me. It kills me. You kill me. You are everything I could wish for, but I don't deserve you. And you need something better, you deserve someone better. And I suck. I'm disgusting. I'm just 19 years old. And everything sucks when you are 19 years old.

By C.

Twisted Twins

I can't say that I was ready for this. No one ever could. These things are not supposed to happen. But, again, real life is a nightmare. And bad things don't happen to bad people... I don't consider myself bad. Oh, I've done it again. I've lost myself again. I've ruined it again. Lost it. Smashed it. Broke it. Ended it. Still alive. She keeps me alive. But still, I know I'll eventually lose her too. That's what I do. That's what I'm best at. Cannot sleep at night. Her picture hanging on the wall. We are hugging. Well, we are not hugging. That's not us. We don't hug. We scream... at each other. We used to be best friends. I used to believe this could actually work. But then, again, I've ruined it. And, again, bad things don't happen to bad people. "Twisted twins"... "twisted twins"... definitely twisted, not twins any more.

By C.

Seems like just yesterday you were a part of me. I used to stand so tall, I used to be so strong. Your arms around me tight. Everything, it felt so right, unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong. Now I can't breathe. No, I can't sleep. I'm barely hanging on. Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces.

Through the rainy glass I see stories. Like the one of you and I falling apart. I'm so high I can hear the universe. But my mind comes back to scream "I love you". Let's fly under the water. And die in the simplest oxymoron.

 By C.

Somos autodestructivas. Nos lastimamos mutuamente. Nos encanta. No queremos herirnos. Pero lo hacemos. Ambas ocultamos nuestro dolor. O al menos lo intentamos. Ambas nos hacemos las boludas. Ambas sabemos lo que pasa. Lo negamos. Se lo negamos a todos. No s lo negamos entre nosotras. Nos lo negamos a nosotras mismas. ¿Será verdad que nos lastimamos? Yo sé que la lastimo. Ella no me lastima. Al menos eso creo. Yo la lastimo. Ella me lastima. Lo hace al permitirme lastimarla. Le duele. Lo sé. Le duelo. Y le encanta. BASTA.

Falling skies

Se van cayendo como fichas en el yenga.
Una por una, en cámara lenta.
Las veo llegar a la cima y
desplomarse como un edificio construído
a base de granos de arroz.
Yo las coloco allá, en lo alto y
espero...
Eventualmente caerán.
Siempre caen.

CG

Yo. Ésa era la respuesta a todas mis preguntas, mis miedos, mis deseos.
Yo. Ésa era la respuesta a todas mis culpabilidades.

Yo. Ésa era la razón por la cual estaba viviendo de esta forma, siendo egoísta, pero no con otros, sino conmigo misma. Yo estaba hundiendo mi propio barco, era mi propio iceberg. Era mi propio monstruo que venía a acecharme por las noches, e incluso a veces en el día. Yo estaba demoliendo mis propias columnas, una por una, hasta que no quedase ninguna y nada pudiera sostenerme. Yo era mi propio miedo, me rehuía a mí misma. Yo era quien ponía un arma en mi cabeza sin intenciones de matarme, jugando a la ruleta rusa, "cuando toca, toca". Mi mayor miedo... ¿cuál era mi respuesta siempre que me preguntaban eso? Yo era mi mayor miedo, pero yo nunca respondía eso. Yo me agobiaba, me asfixiaba, me consumía. "Escapo" -decía yo- "escapo de lo que me atormenta"- cuando en realidad, lo estaba acercando más a mí... y lo sigo haciendo. Yo, esa persona autodestructiva, que vive dentro mío. Yo era mi mayor tortura, me secuestraba y no me dejaba salir, pasaba horas, días, semanas, recluída en esa habitación que es mi cabeza, una habitación abandonada, con paredes oscuras, sin luces ni ventanas, sin agua ni comida. Sin saberlo, me estaba suicidando.

By C.

I'm choking you, I know I am even when you say I'm not. I just can't help it. You all say I can't depend on someone, that I can't put someone else over me like I do. You're the most important people in my life, in my world. The thing is, if something happens to you, I won't be able to live with myself. And it will be even worse if I don't do everything I can and everything I can't to stop you from suffering. I just need you alive, because, if you're not alive, I'm not alive. If you die, I die. I need to know you're ok. I need to do everything possible to avoid every harmful situation happening to you. I need you to be happy, I don't care who with, if it's not me, well... it's okay. I know someday you'll find someone who loves you, and cares about you, I'm not saying it will be me, I'm just saying that someone will change your life, rock your world, and I'll try to smile and be happy for  you... somehow I will, it won't be easy, but I will. And on the day of your wedding, I'll be standing there, smiling, supporting you, because you're happy. So, whatever happens, please, don't care about me, if I'm sad or struggling or suffering, I just need to know you're okay to be okay.

Lo más lindo

Lo más lindo del mar es cuando por completo lo moja la hermosura de tu pelo. Lo gracioso del sol es cuando no ve nada, le encandila los ojos la luz de tu mirada. Lo lindo de la noche y las estrellas, es que tu rostro habita en todas ellas. Lo lindo de mi vida es el saber que la gobierna tu ser. Lo lindo de tocarte es que me mata, no me das tiempo ni de entrar en coma. Lo más lindo del viento es cuando intenta  ir de la mano junto con tu aroma. Pero para mí eres como la luna, que podría contemplarte hasta ser viejo, radiante y más hermosa que ninguna, pero siempre tan lejos...

- Las Pastillas del Abuelo