Hello.

Here we are now.
Everything has changed.
I'd bought you a teddy horse.
You used to love it.
We were kids.
I found it in the trash can.
Hello, who are you?
Hello, who am I?
From frog to princess.
Hello, where did you leave the memories?
Oh yes, in your shoes and tiny dogs.
But, hello! That's not a trophy!
You've lost your air.
You can't breathe.
I can't breathe either.
Hello, remember me?
Hello. I'm not here to pick your leftovers.
You want control.
Hello, I'm the one thing you can't control.
I'm everything you can't control.
Hello, who are you?
Hello, who am I?
Hello, where did you leave the memories?
Hello, remember me?
Hello, I'm everything you cant control.

By C.

in the dark.

Kiss your lips. Smell your skin. Touch your belly. Bite your neck. I start to slide down my hand, lower and lower, till I get there. I Watch you close your eyes, hear your breathing going faster... and faster. I feel your muscles tensing. Kissing your lips. Grabbing your hair. Hearing your breathing slowing down. Feeling your body relaxing. Seeing your naked back (I love it, by the way). Watching you sleep. Smelling your hair. Hearing your breathing. Feeling your touch. Touching your hair. Kissing your lips.

By C.

Miss dependent.

Calle Gurruchaga. Pleno Palermo Soho. Te molesta no saber para qué lado mirar. Son las cosas que pasan cuando perdés el control. Necesitás comprar, necesitás mirar. Te empieza a abrumar. No podés parar. Te consume. Estás empezando a sospechar. Las puertas se vuelven túneles; túneles que te guían hacia el pozo, el pozo del infierno que es en realidad tu cielo, por ahora... tapados, zapatos, libros, discos. Cerrás los ojos, no podés mirar. El mundo no va a dejar de girar. El cielo va a estallar y convertirse en polvo de ceniza que te va a cegar.

By C.

She.

I've been asked yo write down how I feel when I'm alone. Some may understand "alone" as alone in their bedrooms, or walking down the street. My definition of "alone" is completely different. When I'm alone I cannot breathe, I cannot sleep, I can't even think well. When I'm alone my whole world crushes down, my heart breaks and my bones ache. When I'm alone my ears don't listen, my heart doesn't beat and my voice doesn't sound the same. When I'm alone music helps me, but it's not enough, it's never enough... nothing is ever enough. When I'm alone I don't feel like getting up, eating, showering or even breathing. When  I'm alone I don't breathe. But, I'm still alive, aren't I? Because I'm  never alone. I used to be. Sometimes I think I could go back to it. But now I can't. I'm never alone. She's always in my mind. She's pressing my heart to beat, my lungs to breathe and my blood to run. Every time. Every hour. Every second. Everyday.

By C.

Through the rainy glass I see stories.
Like the one of you and I falling apart.
I'm so high I can hear the universe.
But my mind comes back to scream "I love you".

By C.

Never let me go.

Looking out from underneath, fractured moonlight on the sea. Reflections still look the same to me, as before I went under. And it's peaceful in the deep cathedral, where you cannot breathe, no need to pray, no need to speak; now I am under. And it's breaking over me, A thousand miles onto the sea bed, found the place to rest my head. Never let me go, never let me go. Never let me go, never let me go. And the arms of the ocean are carrying me, and all this devotion was rushing out of me. And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner like me. The arms of the ocean deliver me. Though the pressure's hard to take, it's the only way I can escape. It seems a heavy choice to make, but now I am under. And it's breaking over me, A thousand miles onto the sea bed, found the place to rest my head. Never let me go, never let me go. Never let me go, never let me go. And the arms of the ocean are carrying me, and all this devotion was rushing out of me. And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner like me. The arms of the ocean deliver me. And it's over, and I'm going under, but I'm not giving up! I'm just giving in. Oh, slipping underneath. Oh, so cold, but so sweet. In the arms of the ocean, so sweet and so cold. And all this devotion I never knew at all. And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner released. And the arms of the ocean deliver me. Never let me go, never let me go. Never let me go, never let me go. Deliver me. Never let me go, never let me go. Never let me go, never let me go. Deliver me. Never let me go, never let me go. Never let me go, never let me go. Never let me go, never let me go. Never let me go, never let me go. And it's over, and I'm goin' under, but I'm not givin' up! I'm just givin' in. Oh, slipping underneath. Oh, so cold, but so sweet.

19

I don't know why you are doing this. I don't know why you care at all. I don't deserve it. You are perfect to everyone's eyes. I don't deserve it. I'm just 19 years old. And everything sucks when you're 19 years old. I wanna scream. You can't be real. You can't do what you do. Do you want to kill me? Why are you there for me at all? You shouldn't. It's not good for me. It kills me. You kill me. You are everything I could wish for, but I don't deserve you. And you need something better, you deserve someone better. And I suck. I'm disgusting. I'm just 19 years old. And everything sucks when you are 19 years old.

By C.

Twisted Twins

I can't say that I was ready for this. No one ever could. These things are not supposed to happen. But, again, real life is a nightmare. And bad things don't happen to bad people... I don't consider myself bad. Oh, I've done it again. I've lost myself again. I've ruined it again. Lost it. Smashed it. Broke it. Ended it. Still alive. She keeps me alive. But still, I know I'll eventually lose her too. That's what I do. That's what I'm best at. Cannot sleep at night. Her picture hanging on the wall. We are hugging. Well, we are not hugging. That's not us. We don't hug. We scream... at each other. We used to be best friends. I used to believe this could actually work. But then, again, I've ruined it. And, again, bad things don't happen to bad people. "Twisted twins"... "twisted twins"... definitely twisted, not twins any more.

By C.