Ruined

Can't stop thinking I love her. 

Can't stop thinking she loves me. 

At least that's what she told me. 

What if she's confused?

What if she's not sure?

I'm so afraid of ruining everything. 

I'm so afraid of getting hurt again. 

I think I'll eventually will. 

I always do. 

I'll ruin everything just because I have to. 

I don't want to. 

I'll hurt her. I'm not good enough. 

She doesn't deserves me. 

She'll find out eventually. 

She will hate me. 

She probably doesn't loves me. 

She'll figure it out soon.

And everything will be ruined. 

Its too quiet in here. 

That darkness is near. 

Make it disappear.

I walk on my own. 

I need you to help me move on. 

But i realize that you're gone. 

The roof is burning, 

You are tearing down. 

You chose the right time. 

Im stuck in here, i cant go out. 

I dont wanna go out. 

I like it here. 

I like the feeling. 

Its burning here. 

And i wanna disappear. 

Freak Out

It's freaking me out. It's the way you walk by and don't even look at me. The way everything seems so easy for you. I'm afraid. I'm scared. It's me who's scaring me. It's some kind of madness, it's taking over my head and body. I can't control it. Blood is coming out of my eyes and ears. I just keep walking.

It's funny, your excuse is always that you couldn't find me.  How is it that you couldn't find me if I leave a river of blood everywhere I walk through? Just follow the river. Go with the flow. Maybe you'll find me. Maybe the day you realize what you were supposed to look for, you find myself lying six feet under ground. In a wooden box. Or maybe you don't find me and we just weren't meant for each other. If that's it, just tell me. Stop lying. It makes me mad. And I'm scared of myself when I'm mad. What can I do when I act out of reason? 

I've beaten my own record without even trying. 

Fifty one cuts in two days.